Charisma. Some people seem to ooze charisma from their pores. Others try hard but end up more sleazy than charismatic. As a virtual leader and business owner, charisma is a desirable quality. A quality that I believe can be developed with practice and a genuine desire to help others.
I define charisma as a special personal quality of an individual making him/her capable of influencing or inspiring others. You know that feeling you get when you talk to someone and you feel better about yourself just because you did? That’s charisma. You want it, don’t you?
What charisma is not: flashy, showy, power wielding, self-centered, judgmental, win-lose, pushy, or boring.
There are three elements of building charisma:
First you have to believe you can be charismatic. It must come from inside you – it can not be fake or you risk becoming that sleazy guy in the room. How do you believe? By knowing that charisma is built on a genuine desire to help others. If you go into every situation with that in mind, you have a great foundation to build charisma.
Second is feedback. When someone shares that you inspired them, had positive influence over them, this reinforces your charisma and actually takes it to the next level. It’s the external proof you need. It can only come from someone else, not from within.
Third is an attitude of ongoing practice. Actually it’s much more than an attitude – it is charisma in action. Here’s how to practice charisma:
- Smile. The smile is an open door to conversation. A smile shows you are happy with yourself. No one wants to talk with or hang around a grumpy gills! By the way, you can tell if someone is smiling even if you are only on the phone!
- Treat each person as a special individual – because they are. For that moment you are talking to that person, treat them as if they are the only person in the room and on your mind. Ask them questions about their life, work, thoughts and ideas. And listen intently.
- Give importance. Each person is important so treat them as such. No matter their position, education, or point of view. It is their’s and that is important.
- Have purpose. Though you respect others and their opinions and differences, you stick to your values and your beliefs. You have a purpose and are determined to live your life of business / business of life to fulfill that purpose. This helps you to project confidence – another factor of a charismatic personality.
Charisma may be a gift, but it is one that needs to be opened and used to be noticed. Are you using yours?