25.5 Clues and 4 Remedies: You are NOT Self Aware

The unexamined life is not worth living


Why do you need to be self aware? Because you can not manage that which you are not aware. How can you be happy, successful, find your flow and get through your daily angst if you do not know yourself? One of the first steps in finding your way through life’s dialy moments of angst (and the larger conditions that span your entire life) is to understand yourself and how you live in this world. Self awareness includes recognizing how you interact with, see, and impact the world around you and thus yourself as part of that world.

25 1/2 clues that you may not be as self aware as you think.


  1. can not identify your strengths, weaknesses or limits
  2. don’t seek feedback
  3. are defensive about feedback that you do receive
  4. are arrogant
  5. don’t listen to feedback
  6. don’t learn from feedback
  7. believe your work performance is better than it is
  8. believe your work performance is much less than it is.
  9. rush in where you shouldn’t
  10. do not take action when you should
  11. are surprised by or not know your own impact on those around you
  12. know some of your shortcomings, but will not share that awareness with others
  13. avoid discussions about yourself
  14. assume you already know when you don;t
  15. are an excuse maker and blamer
  16. don’t learn from your mistakes
  17. don’t get much from personal insight exercises or performance discussions
  18. are surprised by negative personal data
  19. think you are the only perfect person on the planet
  20. do not seek personal growth and development
  21. don’t question who you are or your purpose
  22. can not identify feelings as you experiene them
  23. become engulfed by your emotions and can not escape them – they have taken charge!
  24. tend to over-react to situations – making mountains out of mole hills
  25. suppress your feelings instead of managing them and recognizing their value or significance

BONUS 25 1/2: You did not recognize yourself in any of the above even though half of these really do apply to you!

4 Remedies

First, know thyself.

  1. Get feedback. Most people do not voluntarily give you feedback, especially if it is negative. The simple act of asking for specific feedback can be easier on them, will increase your self awareness, and will increase their impression of you! Specific feedback is saying, ‘I think I focus too much on the details and miss some of the more strategic links. What do you think?’
  2. Get confidential feedback. A private conversation tends to be more accurate than a public discussion.
  3. Take time for self reflection. There are hundreds of books on increasing your self awareness. Just take that first step and open one of them! Two of the many books on my bookshelf come to mind:  Emotional Intelligence;  Wishcraft .
  4. Don’t go it alone! Engage the help of a Coach who can provide a safe environment for reviewing feedback, examining your self and your impact on the world. I am here to help – contact me!

How do you increase your self awareness?